via BuzzFeed

IT’S FINALLY HERE! Two of BuzzFeed’s most obsessed Orange fans discuss each episode of the Netflix prison drama’s sophomore season. Check back for updates! (And yes, there are spoilers aplenty.)

Or read on if you don't mind being spoiled about major story lines. Again: SPOILERS!

Episode 1

Netflix / Via buzzfeed.com

From: Ariane Lange

To: Jaimie Etkin

Subject: IT'S HERE!

Jaimie,

What I've really wanted to know since Season 1 of Orange Is the New Black ended is WHAT HAPPENED TO PENNSATUCKY and this episode held out on us for so long that I felt I could sympathize with someone who doesn't know whether she bludgeoned an acquaintance to death (that is a joke, that is a joke). But for real, the suspense got to me.

Right at the beginning, when they're in a van transporting Piper SOMEWHERE and no one will tell her what's happening, one of the guards who's been talking about women in this really dehumanizing way and calling them "poochies" explains himself: "Can't say 'bitches' no more. It's degrading." It seemed like the theme of the whole episode — people just totally missing the point. First that guard misses the point, then we see Piper's family missing the point of boldness and honesty in flashbacks to her childhood, and then Piper misses the point with her conflict over whether or not to tell the truth about Kubra in the trial. Actually, I don't know that the cigarette-toting cockroach fits into this theme. So there's that.

We find out that little kid Piper followed all the rules and then learned from her adulterer dad and her secret-keeping mom that it doesn't matter if you break the rules as long as you seem to be following them! Although, when she's hanging out with the drug ring in Europe and she says on the phone, "You taught me everything, Dad," that shows us that the writers of the show think we missed the point. Wait. The flashbacks are supposed to be relevant to the main storyline?! —No one

I'm curious: What did you think about Yoda the cockroach?

Yours very truly,

Ariane

P.S. This is a weird first episode, and I feel like an Alex and Piper: Lesbian Drug Dealers spin-off is in the pipeline.

From: Jaimie Etkin

To: Ariane Lange

Subject: Can we talk about Kit Keller?

I would watch the shit out of Alex and Piper: Lesbian Drug Dealers.

As far as Yoda goes, I thought the cigarette muling cockroach storyline was a little too much of a forced metaphor in regard to what sent Piper to prison in the first place. (Like, we get it.) And I was surprised that none of the COs at this pretty high-security Chicago prison noticed the big white sticks waddling around on the backs of these large black bugs against the light-colored cement walls and ground. And I live in New York. I see enough cucarachas, thanks.

I definitely agree with you that this episode felt different from Season 1 of OITNB, but I also enjoyed the parallels between the two. Piper was once again being sent behind bars, getting strip searched, receiving Toms-like prison footwear, etc., and was largely in the dark about what was on the other side of that process. Only this time, she had almost completely lost her marbles. The poised Piper is gone and though the Season 2 version of her is, thus far, just as uppity and unaware of just how privileged she is, she is a far cry from the together waspy woman we knew (i.e., giving prisoners her days-old underwear to get what she wants, for one.)

Also, good lord, Taylor Schilling has an ugly cry face that rivals Kim Kardashian's. And I did enjoy young Piper as well and embarrassingly very much related to her inner struggles with right vs. wrong. I was definitely the kid who wouldn't jump out of the back of the bus. (Unsurprisingly.) And much like Piper, you learn that bad things happen to good people. Or those who do the right thing.

Also take 2, Lori Petty is the best. Kit Keller 4 lyfe. But can we go back to Litchfield now? Please and thank you.

Yours Yodafully,

Jaimie

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