It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going OK, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
Lynzy Billing / BuzzFeed
1. At the age of 32 she definitely wouldn't have her own flat.
2. On a PA's salary.
3. Especially not in London Bridge.
4. Average rent round there? Literally a million pounds.
5. She'd probably be living in a flatshare in Bow.
6. With some uni mates.
7. Or an ex-colleague.
8. All of Bridget's married friends would live in Walthamstow.
9. And all her friends with kids would have packed up off to Watford.
10. Bridget and her single friends would spend their evenings in Spoon's.
11. Or All Bar One if they were feeling fancy.
12. And queuing to get into Stoke Newington pop-ups.
13. There'd be no smoking indoors.
14. So they'd all have taken up vaping. For a week.
15. And then gone back to fags.
Would NEVER happen in 2015.
StudioCanal/Miramax / Via miramax.com
16. Mark Darcy wouldn't leave mysterious voicemails.
17. Because Bridget wouldn't have a landline.
18. Instead she'd stress about "seen" notifications on WhatsApp.
19. And vague Facebook chat messages.
20. She'd never have answered the phone to her dad with that "wanton sex goddess" line.
21. Because everyone has caller ID.
22. She might have accidentally sent him an inappropriate selfie though.
23. Bridge and friends wouldn't be watching the VHS of Pride and Prejudice to look for that wet shirt scene.
24. Because Bridget wouldn't have a TV.
25. Instead they'd be watching Magic Mike clips on her laptop.
26. They'd still be obsessed with Colin Firth though.
27. He's still got it.
28. Rather than drunk dancing to Chaka Khan, Bridge would be all about Beyoncé.
29. But still drinking vodka obviously.
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