9 Reasons Why "Forrest Gump" Is Actually The Worst



via BuzzFeed

For Pete’s sake, they tell you what the chocolates are on the back of the box!


Twenty years ago, the beloved tearjerker Forrest Gump opened in theaters and became the highest-grossing movie of 1994 and won six Academy Awards, including Best Picture. "What a magical movie," Roger Ebert cooed at the time, while director Robert Zemeckis described it as "a human, life-affirming, hopeful story."


But actually, it is the worst. Here's why:


In Forrest Gump, intellectually disabled people aren't really people.


In Forrest Gump , intellectually disabled people aren't really people.


Forrest Gump has no true personality behind his unfailing decency. This movie thinks that "slowness" would make a great symbol for innocence, and so, Forrest's potential nuance is erased — he's never allowed to be a dick, or to be angry, or to feel fear in a war zone. "Unflagging love for your mama and your childhood best friend" is as deep as it gets for him. Throw in a dash of happiness and a pinch of sadness, and what you have is three refrigerator magnet happy faces, not a person. :* :) :(


Paramount Pictures


Because he's a symbol of total innocence, Forrest Gump can't do anything.


Because he's a symbol of total innocence, Forrest Gump can't do anything.


Not only is Forrest Gump a superhuman with no emotions other than "happy" and "sad," he also has no agency. His life is almost entirely a series of fortunate accidents. He just coasts through, accidentally getting recruited to play football in college; accidentally getting recruited to the Army, where he accidentally saves a bunch of people while looking for his buddy; accidentally being discovered as a Ping-Pong prodigy; and accidentally becoming a successful shrimper after a storm wipes out his competitors. Since he's not doing anything intentionally, he remains pure and innocent (e.g., he's not responsible for anyone he might have killed in Vietnam). This is what he says when explaining why he fits in the Army: "It's not really hard. You just make your bed real neat and remember to stand up straight and always answer every question with, 'Yes, drill sergeant.'" Forrest is very good at doing what other people tell him to do.


Paramount Pictures


Forrest Gump's innocence and purity are always contrasted with a trampy female friend.


Forrest Gump's innocence and purity are always contrasted with a trampy female friend.


Jenny, played by Robin Wright, is the slutty but kindhearted woman who "friend-zones" Forrest until he finally earns her love as she's dying. For most of the film, Jenny's and Forrest's lives go off in different but intersecting directions. For example, in the scene above, Jenny snorts coke off a table while wearing a provocative outfit. This scene is intercut with one in which Forrest names a boat after her, his one true love, painting her name on the vessel in his charming and childlike handwriting as she's engaging in drug-fueled depravity.


Paramount Pictures




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