Or, why she’s the greatest person on Instagram.
When she made you wonder who the hell the shoe wizard is.
Hashtags: #AskTheShoeWizardHowManyYearsIBeggedForThisDayToCome
#TooBadMyFootIsTheSizeOfTheEvilStepsistersAndDoesntFit
Questions that I have: What is a shoe wizard? Is it a guy or a girl? How in fact would one talk to said wizard? What size ARE the evil stepsisters feet???
When she made you immediately want to go eat a sandwich.
Hashtags: #PayNoAttentionToTheGarlicAioliPestoHeavenChickenSandwichInTheFrontRightCorner #PunkyBrewsterHasNothingOnMyShoeGame
Questions I have: Did Punky Brewster say she has better shoes than you? A garlic aioli pesto chicken sandwich actually DOES sound like heaven, but I only see a few inches of bread here so I kinda feel let down?
When she had equal resentment toward excessive use of tongue.
Hashtags: #CouldveDoneWithALittleLessTongue
Questions I have: Who would you say is generally a better kisser: Ryan Reynolds or a giraffe?
When she was ready to be recruited as the newest member of Cirque Du Soleil.
Hashtags: #BestJobEver
#CanCirqueDuSoleilPleaseSeeThisAndInviteMeToJoinPLEASE #YesIKnowTheyreMimes
Questions I have: What exactly would your Cirque Du Soleil talent be? Are there mimes in Cirque Du Soleil??
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