“Sometimes being stuck in my own head is so exhausting it makes me want to cry.”
1. There will come a time when your parents cut you off.
2. They just can't keep bankrolling your groovy lifestyle.
3. You can love someone too much.
4. And it might make them love you less.
5. If you've just drunk opium tea, avoid your parents.
6. You shouldn't turn up late to your own abortion.
7. No stuff gets up around the side of condoms.
8. It's OK to be a virgin in your twenties.
9. Particularly if you're the least virginy virgin ever.
10. If you're not sure who your boyfriend's sleeping with, take an STD test.
11. And if the results come back positive, tell all your previous sexual partners.
12. If your second biggest baggage is that you just bought four cupcakes and ate one of them in your bathroom, you're doing OK.
13. Contracting HPV just means you're adventurous.
14. Sometimes, people you didn't think were gay are gay.
15. It's a good idea not to fall for the father of the kids you babysit.
16. If you can't make eye contact with him while you have sex, he's probably not the guy for you.
17. It's not OK for your boss to touch your bum.
18. If he does, don't offer to sleep with him.
19. Never read someone else's diary.
20. And if you do, don't turn its contents into a song.
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