“I know there’s a rapist on the show, and I feel like it might be him.”
Carnival Film and Television Limited for MASTERPIECE
There is no denying that Downton Abbey is a phenomenon — in the United States. But when I visited BuzzFeed's London bureau, I was rather shocked to discover that pretty much every single staffer could barely give a rip about the ongoing early 20th century saga of the Earl of Grantham's vast English estate and the lives of those who live and work there. They all recognized that the show was popular in their native country — but among their parents, not them.
So, I decided to pull a handful of BuzzFeed U.K. staffers into a room, show them a series of photos of the Downton Abbey cast, and ask them to describe who they thought these characters were, and how they fit into the show. Two of them, Scott and Ailbhe, admitted they had, on rare occasion, watched the show (although their answers seemed to prove otherwise). The rest had not seen a single episode. Here are their responses.
Robert, The Earl of Grantham
Scott: He looks like Paul Burrell, the disgraced former butler of Diana, so I can't get that out of my mind whenever I see him. He runs the whole of Downton. He's like the dude in terms of making sure everything goes like clockwork. He's a bit well to do, and he's posh. He's got great hair.
Ailbhe: I think that's the butler, from what I've seen. Does he have the leg thing? I think he's got a leg thing. Maybe he doesn't. He looks very worried. But he's sitting at the table. He can't be the butler. He must be the man of the house, and he's eating dinner. And he looks worried. For financial reasons?
Tabatha: Someone's dad. He also looks like he's a P.C. from The Bill, a TV show here.
Robin: He's dressed like a butler, but he's eating… I'm going to say steak. So he's probably not the butler. He's lord of the manor, Mr. Downton. That would be a good name.
Cate: He is a horrible house guest, and is clearly an asshole. He just does not look like a nice person at all. Maybe he's a mean teddy bear. Like, maybe he just seems really horrible, but on the inside, he's just a nice guy. Maybe.
Richard: I know the actor is Hugh Bonneville. I think he is the head of the household. He looks pretty smart, pretty dapper. He looks pretty angry as well. He's got a violent past, perhaps. Quite stern and authoritative.
Tom: That is Lord Something-or-other. He's very self-important. He's the patriarch of the whole thing. He is prone to grumpiness and probably has had an affair with a servant girl.
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Lady Mary Crawley
Scott: She's the wife of Paul Burrell. She always has that facial expression. She never really seems to show any emotion in terms of excitement, happiness, joy. She always seems to be in, like, an emotional paroxysm of some sort. She has been involved in some sort of love triangle. Probably Paul Burrell knows or is involved. I'm really good at this!
Ailbhe: That is the daughter of that man [Robert]. She was in a car crash. Was she pregnant? She was! Then lost the baby.
Robin: This woman is troubled. She has recently lost her husband who was the son of the non-butler guy eating steak. He fell off his horse. She just sits in the corner, occasionally wiping away a solitary tear. She doesn't say much.
Tom: That is the daughter of the previous character. She's been groomed to be a young heiress debutante kind of thing, but she doesn't want to, because she's a fiercely independent woman who actually has ambitions to be a writer. She feels very oppressed by the patriarchal society in which she's living.
Carnival Film and Television Limited for MASTERPIECE
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