12 Female Characters Who Keep Shaving Despite Constant Peril



via BuzzFeed

Just because you live in fear for your life doesn’t mean you let yourself go, ladies!



The Walking Dead's Rosita Espinosa (Christian Serratos) — a zombie-fighter, yes, but also a woman.


AMC / Via walkingdead.wikia.com


I am about to tell you something shocking: Most women grow hair in their armpits. Super gross, right? It takes effort to stay hairless! That being said, if you're a woman who's ever packed an emergency end-of-the-world kit, you might have thought to yourself, "While I'm living in constant peril, I probably will not prioritize keeping my armpits shaved." But that would be a total cop-out, fellow women, because you can shave during an apocalypse, and you should.


Ginger Grant, Gilligan's Island (1964-1967)


Ginger Grant, Gilligan's Island (1964-1967)


Ginger (Tina Louise) was a movie star, damn it, and she was not going to let a little marooning get in the way of her having hairless armpits.


Warner Bros.




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How The “Star Wars” Teaser Awakens Excitement In People Who Thought They Were Over It



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The trailer for J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars sequel is careful not to show glimpses of familiar characters, but it feels like a calculated throwback just the same.



Star Wars: The Force Awakens


Lucasfilm


"Dude, come here, you're going to want to see this."


My kid pulled his face cheek-to-cheek with mine and I tapped the phone screen to hit play. He had just spent hours yesterday on a long cross-country flight watching Star Wars: Rebels, fully engrossed in Darth Squizzle or Crash Bandicoot or whoever these new cartoon characters were that existed in some vaguely canonical but unrecognizable corner of the galaxy, and 88 seconds later — not that anyone was counting — it was over and he walked away and did something else. By the time The Force Awakens comes out next year, he will be the same age I was when Star Wars came out; this movie and its ensuing franchise onslaught are, I thought, literally made for him. But buying wholly into that might be a bit of a defense mechanism.


Certainly J.J. Abrams could have poured it on by dramatically revealing familiar faces, and the internet would have broken in ways Paper magazine could only have dreamed of. Leading with new faces, even in a teaser like this, is a statement unto itself that he's not going for the easy nostalgia. Rather, the teaser is a dog whistle in more subtle ways: the orange of the desert, the dirt and rust on an X-wing, and more crucially, the howl of the TIE fighters and the swelling of the John Williams score, which apparently can raise goose bumps by merely typing a reference to it. The final moment of the trailer is not an image, but the distinctive hum of a lightsaber.


These are more powerful cues than faces, and they're hopelessly embedded in the DNA of people of a certain age who maybe think they should know better. The ease of these cues' effectiveness is nothing short of embarrassing; Abrams knows the power of what he's holding and knows to only dole out a drop of it for now. Making two Star Trek movies prepared him for navigating a fully mobilized geek gauntlet, but that may not have brought the same baggage that this does. We can grow up and grow old and think ourselves past certain things, then the whoosh of a fake laser sword pulls us inescapably back, like some sort of giant totemic emotional — oh fuck it, it's like a tractor beam.



Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace


Lucasfilm




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The Best Of The Internet's Reactions To The New "Star Wars" Trailer



via BuzzFeed

May the lols be with you.


On Friday the moment we've all been waiting for finally arrived: The trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens was finally unveiled.


On Friday the moment we've all been waiting for finally arrived: The trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens was finally unveiled .


youtube.com




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POLL: What Do You Think About The New Lightsaber In "Star Wars"?



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It’s got a crossguard, and people have thoughts on that.


There is a new Star Wars trailer, and there is a new light saber.


There is a new Star Wars trailer , and there is a new light saber.


It has a hilt.


youtube.com




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The "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Trailer Is Here



via BuzzFeed

Internet, you may break now.


Brace yourself.



You can also watch the trailer on the iTunes website.


Lucasfilm / Via youtube.com



How Well Do You Know Benedict Cumberbatch?



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The Penguins of Madagascar and The Imitation Game star reveals to BuzzFeed News everything from how he takes his tea to which mispronunciation of his name is his favorite.


LINK: Related: Benedict Cumberbatch’s Completely Random Opinion On Totally Random Things



The Multicultural Thanksgiving Movie You Never Knew You Needed



via BuzzFeed

There aren’t many Thanksgiving classics, but What’s Cooking? should be one of them.



Lionsgate



Lionsgate


You'll never get into a heated debate over the best Thanksgiving movie — there just aren't many memorable ones to choose from, much less to feel passionate about. Crowded traveling, scarfing turkey, and getting in boozy fights over politics with your uncle may all be part of the American experience, but that's apparently not enough to move someone to create a film. Thanksgiving is the start of the holiday season, but when it comes to inspiring movies, it's got nothing on Christmas.


Yes, there is the agreed-upon classic, the Steve Martin-John Candy comedy Planes, Trains & Automobiles, but the drop-off after that is steep. There are a few scrappier would-be standards that never quite made it, like Jodie Foster's Home for the Holidays and the Katie Holmes indie Pieces of April. Then there are the movies that use Thanksgiving gatherings as just another backdrop for ongoing drama, like The Ice Storm, Hannah and Her Sisters, The House of Yes, and The Myth of Fingerprints — which is fair enough, but not really about the holiday at all. Thanksgiving movies tend to conjure up images of chilly weather, repressed emotion, and, frequently, whiteness.


But as the child of immigrant parents growing up in California, my Thanksgivings were not filled with the stressful trekking and alcohol-induced political feuds — and Thanksgiving, in particular, shouldn't be presented as monolithic. As a secular, national tradition, it includes in its expansive embrace Americans of all kinds who are temporarily unified in their attempts to properly roast and devour a giant piece of poultry. Dubious origin story aside, there's a good case for Thanksgiving being the best holiday of the year, concerned only with the straightforward pleasures of getting together with people you like or love (or are obligated to spend time with anyway due to familial ties) and eating mountains of starchy food. It's deserving of a movie that celebrates its basic inclusiveness and gluttony, and so I submit for your Thanksgiving classic consideration the 2000 film What's Cooking?, directed by Gurinder Chadha.




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How A Big Change In "Mockingjay – Part 1" Will Affect "Part 2"



via BuzzFeed

The filmmakers behind the final Hunger Games movies talk to BuzzFeed News about Katniss’ motivation and how dark the climactic film will be. WARNING: ALL OF THE SPOILERS ahead.


Warning: The following story contains MAJOR SPOILERS for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 and Part 2.


Warning: The following story contains MAJOR SPOILERS for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 and Part 2 .


Philip Seymour Hoffman and Julianne Moore in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1.


Murray Close / Lionsgate


Fans of Suzanne Collins' novel Mockingjay have likely recognized several significant changes in the feature film adaptation The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD): Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) clearly takes a more active role in the revolution against President Snow (Donald Sutherland) and the Captiol; Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks), MIA for most of the book, is brought back into the main story; President Coin (Julianne Moore) and District 13 aren't immediately as ominous a presence as they are in the book; and the film itself ends roughly halfway through the book, with the rescue of Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) from the Capitol and the discovery that he had been brainwashed (or "hijacked") into an assassin to kill Katniss.


There is another change, however, that could make arguably the biggest impact in the final film of the Hunger Games franchise, Mockingjay – Part 2: Katniss does not demand to kill Snow.


In Collins' novel, it is one of Katniss' key stipulations to Coin and Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman) before she agrees to take on the role of the symbolic Mockingjay in the rebellion against the Capitol. In the film, however, Katniss' list of demands includes no mention of Snow at all.


The reason, according to the filmmakers, had to do with the decision to break Mockingjay into two movies, and allow each film to have a clear objective.


"That's probably one of the biggest changes in the splitting of the book," director Francis Lawrence told BuzzFeed News. "The way that you can tell the two stories, for us, is that each story has its own dramatic question, has its own objective. In this one, Katniss is finally taking on the role as the symbol of the revolution and starting to step up and fight back. But the dramatic question is: Will we get Peeta back? … Part 2 is: Let's go get Snow."



Donald Sutherland in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2.


Murray Close / Lionsgate


When asked about this specific change, the Hunger Games team became wary of wading into tricky spoiler-filled waters for Mockingjay – Part 2 — Katniss' desire to kill Snow in the book has some surprising ramifications, to say the least. "For people who don't know the books, then I don't want to spoil that for them," producer Nina Jacobson told BuzzFeed News. "But … we wanted to let Katniss arrive [at the demand to kill Snow] a little bit more gradually. What's happened to Peeta informs that demand."


Even beyond the main objective to take out Snow, the second half of Collins' novel presents a far darker climax than most blockbuster franchises ever dare to go. And that is exactly why Lawrence wanted to direct the Mockingjay movies. "I went in saying, 'I want to make the books. I don't want to reinvent,'" he said. "There's always adaptation, because you have to take something from the page … and make it cinematic and visual. So there will always be some change. But I wasn't looking to reinvent."


At the same time, it sounds like the Mockingjay – Part 2 team also worked to be sure the film will not be just wall-to-wall bleakness and gloom. "We knew it was dark, and we looked at what wasn't dark, and really paid a lot of attention to it," screenwriter Peter Craig told BuzzFeed News. "Part of it is there's a lot of affection between the characters that you can't always show in moments where they're fighting in arenas, or when they're separated from each other. There's a love story that's emerging between Katniss and Peeta that is actually really, really sweet at its core. There's all these characters that have been reunited and genuinely care for each other."


If the main objective of Part 2 is "Let's go get Snow," then that conceit of characters reconnecting with each other — literally and figuratively — appears to be the film's emotional spine. "I feel like you can have darkness if you've got some redemption at the center of it," said Craig. "[Mockingjay – Part 2] is really completely about redemption, and all these people forgiving each other, and finding each other again. It might take you through a thicket, but you come out the other side."




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44 Body Horror Movies To Kill Your Appetite



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Because nothing says “Thanksgiving” like being too grossed-out to eat. WARNING: Major gore ahead. Also, spoilers! Proceed at your own risk.


Body horror is defined as "a horror film genre in which the main feature is the graphically depicted destruction or degeneration of a human body or bodies." It is best enjoyed on an empty stomach. With that in mind, here are some of the finest, most cringe-inducing body horror films of all time — definitely not for the faint of heart.


Eraserhead (1977)


Eraserhead (1977)


Directed by: David Lynch

Written by: David Lynch

What it's about: Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) is abandoned by his girlfriend Mary X (Charlotte Stewart) and left to care for their child, an incessantly crying infant that may not be human.

Key body horror moment: Spencer removes his child's swaddling and realizes it has no skin. Without anything to hold them in, the child's organs spill out, and Spencer cuts them apart with scissors.


Criterion


Rabid (1977)


Rabid (1977)


Directed by: David Cronenberg

Written by: David Cronenberg

What it's about: After a motorcycle accident, Rose (Marilyn Chambers) gets experimental skin grafting surgery. Soon she's hungering for human blood and turning all her victims into equally rabid zombies.

Key body horror moment: From the new orifice in Rose's armpit — which, it's worth noting, looks very much like a vagina — a phallic stinger emerges to drain blood from her victims.


Somerville House


The Incredible Melting Man (1977)


The Incredible Melting Man (1977)


Directed by: William Sachs

Written by: William Sachs

What it's about: Doesn't the title say it all? Astronaut Steve West (Alex Rebar) returns from a trip to Saturn where his fellow astronauts were killed by a radiation blast. As Alex's skin begins melting away, he is forced to eat human flesh to survive.

Key body horror moment: Unable to go on any longer, West collapses and ultimately melts into a pile of goo, which a janitor mops up with little fanfare the next morning.


Shout! Factory




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"Horrible Bosses 2" Is The Kind Of Sequel That Makes You Forget You Liked The First Movie



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Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis are back for a follow-up to their hit comedy that has none of the laughs of the original.



Chris Pine, Charlie Day, Jason Bateman, and Jason Sudeikis in Horrible Bosses 2.


John P. Johnson/Warner Bros.


In 2011, Horrible Bosses was a hit — and a big one, given the budget. And these days, that isn't just cause for celebration, it's a sign to set up a sequel (opening Nov. 26) to extract the maximum possible profit from an idea, even one as slender as the concept behind the first film: A trio of everyman schlubs come up with a plan to kill their abusive bosses, and do a generally terrible job of it.


Though Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis starred as the movie's idiotic threesome, the bosses gave the film its comic bite. Big stars Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell, and Kevin Spacey cut loose as the nymphomaniac dentist, incompetent cokehead, and corporate sadist terrorizing the main characters, respectively.


Directed by Seth Gordon (Identity Thief), Horrible Bosses was a tolerable comedy, and a little more interesting than the audience might have expected from the dark edge of its suburban setting. Its characters were so unimaginative and white bread, so ineffectual and set in their ways, that murder seemed to them a more likely bet than changing jobs, careers, or moving somewhere else.


And Horrible Bosses 2 feels unnecessary (as well as painful) not just because the initial movie left no story threads that needed to be taken up or characters that demanded to be revisited, but because it makes the first film feel worse in retrospect by stomping all over what made it work in the first place.



John P. Johnson/Warner Bros.




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11 Movie Marathons To Watch On TV During Thanksgiving Weekend



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From Dirty Harry to Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park to The Matrix , and Alfred Hitchcock to Bill Murray, there are a myriad of different ways to stuff yourself with movies this holiday.



Dirty Harry


Warner Bros.



Magnum Force


Warner Bros.



The Enforcer


Warner Bros.




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How ABC’s “Black-ish” Became America’s No. 1 New Comedy



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The Anthony Anderson-led sitcom pokes fun at cultural, racial, and generational nuances, scoring mainstream success in the process.



The pilot episode of Black-ish found Andre Jr. (Marcus Scribner) asking his father, Dre (Anthony Anderson), for a bar mitzvah.


ABC/Adam Taylor


Last year, Anthony Anderson's 12-year-old son came home and made a grand announcement: "Dad," the kid told the 44-year-old actor, "I don't feel black."


Anderson was in disbelief. He couldn't believe he was having this particular conversation with his brown-skinned son. But when he took a quick mental step back, he understood where his boy was coming from. His black experience was different from the 12-year-old black experience that his father had had. Anderson grew up in Compton, California, a South Central Los Angeles neighborhood mostly known for its violent reputation, as heard in 1980s rap lyrics from seminal group NWA.


But his son Nathan — "the only chocolate drop in his grade for three years!" Anderson quipped — didn't know much about that life. Nathan's was an existence of privilege and afforded to him because his father, a Howard University graduate, had successfully navigated a career in Hollywood that paired him with top talent like Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, and Jim Carrey (and with a paycheck unlike what he might have imagined growing up in Compton, which means he, his wife, and their two children get to live better).


"I was trying to dodge a drive-by, trying to dodge gang violence and shoot-outs and fights just for wearing a different color," Anderson told BuzzFeed News of his own childhood.


Smartly, Anderson sat Nathan down and redirected, thinking this was one hell of a teachable moment for his son and, well, himself.


"He comes back and sees my family in the 'hood and he see their struggles. That's not his struggle. I had to let him know … yours is different. But that doesn't lessen who you are. That doesn't make you be less black than the next person because your circumstances are different than what theirs are. He got it."


But his kid wasn't done. He told his dad that he wanted a bar mitzvah for his 13th birthday.


Anderson said he told his son that a bar mitzvah wasn't of their heritage, but he caved in and compromised, throwing him a remixed "Hip-Hop Bro Mitzvah" (Anderson even trademarked the name), complete with white shell-top sneakers, a mural created by a graffiti airbrush artist, a hip-hop dance crew, and two DJs who spun for Nathan's eighth-grade class until 2 a.m.


His son got a celebration that was on par with what his classmates got to have. (And friends declared it was the best bar mitzvah ever!)


That real-life occurrence helped to give life to Black-ish (and also provided a plot for the show's well-received pilot episode) and, most crucially, solidified the stakes of a situational comedy about a well-off black family trying to of keep it real in a world where the president of the United States is black.


"What you're seeing on our show so far, each story has come from a real place, and that's what's resonating with the people," Anderson said. "This is not manufactured."



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Paddington Gets Tea Served By A Queen's Guard In This Exclusive Clip From The New Film



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Watch a charming preview of Paddington , which comes out on Friday.


Click play to watch the scene.


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Paddington tells the story of a talking bear who takes refuge in London following a destructive earthquake in his homeland, Peru. The film's strength is how it highlights some of quirky aspects of British culture. This clip is no different.


Paddington / StudioCanal


It starts with a wet and miserable Paddington trying to stay dry outside Buckingham Palace.


It starts with a wet and miserable Paddington trying to stay dry outside Buckingham Palace.


Paddington / StudioCanal


A member of the Queen's Guard gives him shelter, which is nice.


A member of the Queen's Guard gives him shelter, which is nice.


Paddington / StudioCanal


Pigeons then try to get Paddington's sandwiches.


Pigeons then try to get Paddington's sandwiches.


Paddington / StudioCanal




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16 TV Shows For Anyone Who Hates People



via BuzzFeed

These shows will reaffirm your beliefs that people are, in fact, the worst. Perfectly timed for your Thanksgiving marathons when hiding from your family!


The Walking Dead


The Walking Dead


Why it will fuel your hate fire: Basically people are horrendous when faced with a zombie apocalypse. (Think turning your back on your family, gunning down innocent folks, and living an "everyone for themselves" kind of existence.) And when those people get attacked by flesh-eating zombies, well, that's the greatest gift of all.


Where to watch it: Seasons 1 through 4 are streaming on Netflix, and there's a Season 5 marathon this Sunday, Nov. 30.


AMC


How to Get Away With Murder


How to Get Away With Murder


Why it will fuel your hate fire: The relationship between Annalise (Viola Davis) and her horrifying excuse for a human husband (Tom Verica) is enough to make your eyes twitch. Plus, there are a lot of really amazing and hate-filled lines, like, "Why is your penis on a dead girl's phone?"


Where to watch it: Full episodes are streaming on ABC.com, so what are you waiting for?!


ABC


True Detective


True Detective


Why it will fuel your hate fire: There's a big bad villain in this series, lovingly referred to as The Spaghetti Monster. You'll hate this person with the kind of gut venom usually reserved for your own enemies. And then there’s Detective Rust Cohle (Matthew McConaughey), who's constantly waxing philosophical to a point where you aren't sure if he's insane or a genius. Combine that with Detective Marty Hart (Woody Harrelson), who's the World's Worst Husband and Father, and you've got yourself a lotta folks to hate on.


Where to watch it: HBO Go is THE place to watch this. Steal your friend's password, threaten to eat all their Cheetos... do what you gotta do.


HBO


House of Cards


House of Cards


Why it will fuel your hate fire: No one thinks other people are more annoying than Frank and Claire Underwood. If it were up to them, the United States would exist as a dictatorship, with Frank at the head of it and everyone else mere servants.


Where to watch it: This is a Netflix original series, so all two seasons are yours for the binge-watching.


Netflix / Via houseofcardsquotes.tumblr.com




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Behind The Scenes Of The Cutest Cooking Show On Television



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The 12-year-old boy standing in front of Gordon Ramsay has just started to cry. He’s wearing a floral bow tie, a plaid collared shirt tucked neatly into slim black jeans, and a bright white apron tied at the waist with his name embroidered on it in all caps, “LOGAN,” along with the logo of the show on which he is one of the final eight contestants, MasterChef Junior. His two front teeth are gapped, and his sandy blond hair is parted way over on one side. When he grows up, Logan wants to be an oceanographer, an astronaut, a chef, and a garbageman. The restaurant he plans to open someday will be called “O’s Underwater Bistro” and it will have special bubbles, some “executive bubbles” and some “romantic bubbles,” where customers will dine floating around underwater separate from the main restaurant, like in submarines.


But today, Logan has overcooked and underseasoned the rice in what he says would be the signature dish at his underwater bistro. The 82-pound, 4-foot-11-inch boy from Memphis, who, unlike some of the other contestants, can actually see over the cooking counters on the MasterChef set, has had one hour to create this dish, presumably without any adult assistance. And though his perfectly seared steak has “nice char and color,” the plate overall is too simple — lackluster, Ramsay says. As the British celebrity chef tells Logan that “the judges have come to expect more from you, young man,” a tear so giant that even I can see it from behind the cameras 30 feet away drops off Logan’s cheek and hits the floor. The boy’s shoulders curve forward, his head drops, and he’s sobbing.



Ramsay comforts Logan after critiquing his dish.


Greg Gayne / FOX


Producers backstage stop whispering into their mics. The cameramen are still and tense. No one likes to see a child cry. But then Ramsay, who has seven Michelin stars, 25 restaurants, and a reputation for calling the cooks on his TV shows things like “miserable wee bitch” and “you fucking donkey” does something unexpected: He steps forward, hugs the child, and tells him it’s going to be OK, that he did his best. When Logan returns to his station, no longer crying, the other children comfort him and tell him he’s a great cook.


In spring 2013, when Fox announced it was going to air a kid-centric spin-off of its amateur cooking competition MasterChef with 8- to 13-year-olds, it sounded horribly annoying — like a desperate attempt to revive a played-out format. The built-in precociousness of the concept was off-putting: 12-year-olds talking about Sriracha foam. And who wants to watch kids being mean to one another or judges hurting their feelings? “Fox's Junior MasterChef to find newer, younger chefs to disappoint Gordon Ramsay,” wrote the AV Club .


But when the show debuted last fall, it was absolutely delightful. Now, three episodes into its second season, it’s still so good. MasterChef Junior’s first season was the highest-rated broadcast show in its Friday evening time slot among adults 18 to 49. It performed especially well in DVR and got good reviews. This season it is upgraded to a coveted Tuesday evening spot and averages a solid 5.3 million total viewers.


Seeing Ramsay’s gentler, helpful side is reason alone to watch. But the kids are the real stars because they (and the producers in the control room) turn the reality cooking show on its head by making it more heartwarming than cutthroat — they actually are here to make friends. They are more than happy to lend one another ingredients and help during the challenges. They often cry when anyone is sent home because they are sad for their friend. They release piercing screams of delight when a food for the next challenge is revealed (“Yaaaay! Pancakes!”), and collapse on the floor with relief when they aren’t sent home. And there is a visual spectacle: They have to jump to reach ingredients in the pantry and stand on boxes to cook at the counters; the scale is off. Meanwhile, the dishes they make are very impressive and just messy enough to be believable. Basically, everything they do and say is ridiculous, and yet it makes so much more sense than what adults do on television.


While we may know better than to believe everything we see on reality TV, the question remains: Are these kids as good as they seem? And if not, would that make the show any less fun?



Greg Gayne / FOX


Like many of our reality shows, MasterChef is a European export. The adult version is based on a BBC show that initially ran from 1990 to 2001, and the brand was exported globally. More than 40 countries have adapted the show — there’s a MasterChef Italia, MasterChef Pakistan, MasterChef China, and more. The kid spin-off was first introduced in 1994 in the U.K. and has been produced in 15 different countries.


Even so, the American show’s executive producers Robin Ashbrook and Adeline Ramage Rooney, who also produce on the adult version, say they had a hard time getting Fox to sign on for Junior.



Kid Nation


Monty Brinton / CBS


The not-distant memory of CBS’s failure with Kid Nation must have been a consideration. The 2007 show put 40 children ages 8 to 15 in a New Mexico ghost town and asked them to create a viable society without adult supervision, then was canceled amid allegations of child abuse, child labor law disputes, and a New York Times article about the insane contracts the parents signed. That same year, Bravo ordered eight episodes of Top Chef Junior with 13- to 16-year-olds, which never aired. (Bravo did not respond to a request for an explanation why.)


“You could go to anybody in the world and go, ‘Right, so we’ve got Gordon Ramsay,’ and they’d go, ‘But he shouts at people,’" Ashbrook says. "And you’d say, ‘And we’ve got this show with ovens and knives and hot dishes — and then we’re going to do it with kids.’ So on that pitch you’d be like, ‘You’re fucking out of your mind.’"


In 2012, while taping the third season of adult MasterChef, Ashbrook and Rooney taped a mystery box challenge with a group of kids — each got a box with the same surprise ingredients and had to create a dish. They sent the tape to Fox. It worked.


When the casting call went out, the press was especially critical that the kids would be as young as 8. But Rooney says having younger kids for MasterChef Junior was essential.


“Once you get to 14 to 17, they might be more skilled, but they’ve also kind of shut down a lot more,” she says. "So they’re not as good for TV, frankly."


The rest of the show is almost identical to the adult version of MasterChef, which just aired its fifth season. The other two judges are New York restaurateur and winemaker Joe Bastianich and Chicago chef Graham Elliot. The set’s the same, the format’s the same, and the production, editing, and culinary team are almost exactly the same.



Greg Gayne / FOX


“We want it to be a show that is co-viewed with parents and that our Hell’s Kitchen fans would watch, so we didn’t want to neuter Gordon,” Rooney says, referring to one of Ramsay’s other four shows currently on Fox in which he verbally abuses aspiring chefs cooking in competition for a job at one of his restaurants.


The Gordon Ramsay who appears on MasterChef Junior is a completely different judge — helpful, goofy, and sweet — so that you start to understand why some of the people who work for him show an irrational-seeming loyalty in the face of his insulting tirades and long list of scandals.


“Firm but fair. I liken it to a soccer coach,” Ramsay says of his attitude toward the kids on the show. “If you want your child to succeed — a ballerina, become the next basketball superstar, or play for the Dodgers — then you will push them.”



Greg Gayne / FOX


The eight kids who remain in the competition on Episode 4 in Season 2 stand in a row in front of a stage where the three judges are also standing in a row. They’re on a set on the Paramount lot in Los Angeles where they’ve been staying at a nearby hotel with their parents for the first two weeks of the three-and-a-half-week production. They’re ready to find out what the first challenge of the episode will be.


Ramsay’s voice has more bravado and is much louder than the other judges'. He wanders around set with an enormous, devious presence that makes even off-camera moments feel like reality TV.


A production guy coming from the behind-the-scenes kitchen rolls a cart near the set and tells me to be careful, please don’t put your coffee on this. Covered by a cloche, this plate is handed to the judges a minute later when they announce the challenge.


“There is one ingredient that every chef relies on,” Ramsay says. His voice rises with booming excitement to build the moment where he lifts the cloche: “It’s simple. It’s glorious. And delicious! It is an…egg.”



Greg Gayne / FOX


“Duuuuuuuh,” says Oona, an extremely bright 9-year-old with big eyes and dark hair pulled into messy pigtails. Oona’s favorite TV show of all time is Alton Brown’s Good Eats; she’s seen every single episode and most of them several times over. Oona’s dad, a Yale Law School professor, says he wasn’t inclined to let her watch MasterChef Junior when the show first came out: “My picture of reality TV was snarky adults saying mean things to each other,” he says. “We didn’t want her to see that.” But the show wasn’t that, so he and his wife agreed to let her watch it.


Bastianich, the third judge, begins to describe the sunny-side-up hero egg: “Notice there are no brown edges, there are no wobbly whites,” he says. “They're not snotty or runny.” The words “snotty” and “runny” are too much for some of the kids, and they burst into giggles.


Then there is a confusing silence for a minute or two. The judges have earpieces to receive stage directions during taping from producers in the control room who tell them what to redo. By now, the kids are used to these awkward pauses, but they are kids: They have a hard time standing still. Actually, so does Gordon Ramsay. Similarities between the celeb chef and the children are shockingly clear in person: They love to make trouble, they have scary amounts of energy, they get bored easily, and they throw temper tantrums.


All of a sudden the judges are alert again and Elliot starts talking: “You will have 10 minutes to make us as many perfect, sunny-side-up eggs as you can,” he says. “At your stations you will find everything you need: oil, butter, and a whole lot of eggs. You'll have eight pans, which I highly recommend you use simultaneously. Every perfectly fried sunny-side-up egg that we decide is good enough will give you a huge advantage in the upcoming challenge.”


Then, it seems like it’s go time: The cameras start moving and the kids begin to run to their stations. But the producers yell, “Can I have the kids back up at the front?” and the judges take a break. What the kids will do between finding out the details of their challenge and 20 minutes later when they start cooking eggs I don’t know, because Ramsay wants to chat backstage in another room and ushers me away.



Greg Gayne / FOX


Gordon Ramsay is worth $47 million, according to Forbes. In addition to owning restaurants all over the world, he’s produced and starred in 23 television shows since 1999. He’s published 27 books, has a line of tableware with WWRD (Waterford, Wedgewood, Royal Doulton), and has so much energy that you feel rushed to keep up with the cadence of his speech and under pressure to keep his attention. His attention is actually impossible for anyone to keep most of the time. Even his own thoughts don’t keep his attention long enough for him to properly finish them.


“I absolutely 100% categorically submerge myself in the, you know, I don't give a shit what's going on outside, there could be a crisis — last week we got a stupid lawsuit issued over a total ridiculous, ridiculous place, there's a big conference call tonight where we are putting the defense together. It's just if there's one thing that always puts me off about working over here [in the U.S.] it's that the more popular and the more famous you become then the more litigious and the more small excuse people take as advantage to sue...”


The way Ramsay talks is part of his manic power. He has the same force to his speech as on television, but without an editor to cut it and make it coherent. He spits out raw quotes that apart might be worth something, but together become extremely confusing.


“...so that's one thing I've learned over the last decade. In terms of everyone says hey and of course the British press 'he's been sued again, that's 14 times in 7 different countries!' It's a joke. Whatever crap’s going on there, when I walk in here and I'm with these guys, they've got me 100% because it is so important; look at the sort of rip-offs already in terms of Food Network and Bravo now, and the amount of people that try to imitate, and you've got that sugarcoating ass-kissy, let's get all gooey and this is real — this is seriously real.”


He says he is involved in every aspect of the show, including casting, to identify the kids coming from desperate stage moms who aren’t really passionate about cooking. He was not fazed by initial skepticism about his working with children. “I’m a father of four and there’s no script for being a parent.” He talks about his own children a lot; they are between the ages of 12 and 16 and they are all over his Instagram feed amid pictures of him getting in race cars, getting on helicopters, and training for the Ironman.



Sam


Greg Gayne / FOX


The kid contestants idolize Ramsay. Logan, for example, says Ramsay’s opinion is the only one that matters during judging. Logan’s mom tells him to try to not look so pitiful during taping that he gives her a heart attack every time he looks at the camera. Logan says he’s probably just bored because judging takes so long.


“He’s the best chef out of all three of them,” says Sam, a blond 9-year-old contestant from Reseda, California, who has a Skrillex-like hairstyle. Sam says he knows Ramsay’s the best chef because “he’s done so many TV shows and so many things like that, and you can see he looks so good as a chef.”


“Bless him," Ramsay says about Sam when tell I him this later on. "I mean, that’s a bit of a wrong interpretation. There needs to be an actual passion there, and that’s what we weed out very quickly."



Greg Gayne / FOX



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